The dreaded revisiting of artists statements . . .

[Jackie Beckman]

I know we've gone over and over the artist statement issue before, but I was hoping to revisit it once again and perhaps get some critque and editing assistance from those of you who are good at this sort of thing. In corresponding yesterday with someone who's very knowledgeable about artist statements, a simple comment was thrown out that totally made me re-examine the statement I had been using. That was to, "develop a strong rationale for the work . . . not necessarily just to have the piece of paper, but to confirm for yourself why you are doing the work." I knew why I was doing the work, but I hadn't translated that into my statement at all. So I've been reworking it and now am afraid that it sounds "choppy" because I've sort of pieced together the old and new. If anyone is in the mood to read it and give me some opinions or advise, I'd appreciate it:

“My generation watched Neil Armstrong land on the moon, and children dreamt of becoming astronauts; or maybe cowboys, or ballerinas, or Joe Namath. Imagine for a moment actually growing up to be that thing you dreamed of, from the time you knew how to dream. I dreamt of becoming an artist. I wanted to be an artist since I held my first crayon. And now that’s what I am. Me; I’m “the artist,â€

[Dani]

If it was my statement, I'd use the last paragraph and call it good. Not that the rest isn't interesting, but the ending statement says it. My artist statement has gotten really short. "I am a retired professional artist. I am now a hobbyist."

[Don Burt]

Its seems honest and indicates enough introspection that the artist might be taken seriously by many people who take artist statements seriously. How could anybody criticise an upbeat statement like that? Why would anybody want to?

It clearly indicates that your work is approachable. That could be a problem for someone who only buys, collects or curates important difficult intellectual work. The statement is also easily comprehended. There's nothing otherworldly and elite about it. Even though it uses the mandatory phrase 'my work is a metaphor for' (sort of), it stays grounded. The philosophy of making people happy through artwork is going to exclude a certain category of intellectual. Good riddance, you say? I think you can sell as much glass as you want, and command a high price with your approach.

Can you get in NGR with that approach? I dunno. Do you want to? What if your work showed a dark side? Judith Schaecter (sp?) probably shares a lot of your artistic sensiblities. She obviously loves brilliant color, pattern, rhythm, humor. But she throws-in a dark side (gratuitously I think) and people for some reason regard it as important. I don't.

[Barbara Muth]

Jackie, I have been thinking about the same question and reading a lot of statements. Thinking about your statement is helping me think about mine (which I started re-writing yesterday).

I would drop the first paragraph, it is more about you than about the work. While I love learning about you, I think focusing on the work makes the statement stronger.

I agree with Dani that shorter is better, but the last paragraph isn't enough for me.

Instead of your colors being a metaphor, I see them as calling me to live joie, a challenge or a dare. Your work really is about joie de vivre.

(BTW:
pallet = that thing you ship your work on,
palette = the oval board that the artist paints from, or the set of colors on the palette.)


I hope you don't mind my cutting and editing. Toss it or take what you want from it. Here is my edited version of your statement:

Children don’t suppress their basic desires – they burst into rooms, they skip down sidewalks, hop on one foot, sing loudly and dance without music. I want some of that; in fact, I want everyone to have some of that. People tend to focus on the tragedy that surrounds us in this world, and in doing so let joy slip away, let basic inner happiness become secondary. Without even realizing it, we become safe and proper and correct and careful, and even cynical.

My work is about letting go of that – even for a short time each day. It’s an expression of dancing through life, allowing yourself to sing inside, to be delighted and laugh. My vibrant colors are a challenge to the viewer to live life with passion and fire and energy, a reminder to just lighten up sometimes. The work is about celebrating life, it’s about coming alive, it’s about bursting into rooms.

Forming glass in a kiln is an extraordinary art form. Before creating each piece, I spread my colors out all around me like dollops of paint on a palette. I play with the shapes and colors as I compose and instantly know when even the tiniest pieces are where they belong. Then, each moment I’m waiting to open my kilns is filled with child-like anticipation. Sometimes two days of slow cooling must pass before I can see if what I visualized in my mind’s eye has translated into the glass. To my constant delight, 1000 pieces of glass are cut to design a single work, and through what I prefer to think of as magic, rather than science, emerge from the kiln as one. Amazing. Amazing and beautiful.


Jackie, I might even drop the last paragraph.
While a paragraph about process is important to many people, it may not be necessary in artist's statement. I don't know, just guessing here.

I love your work.

Barbara

[Dani]

I've had two galleries and rep'd a lot of artists in the last fifteen years. And had a few artists statements cross my desk. No offense, but 90% of them end up in the slush pile. They're too long. Keep it short and powerful if you want someone to read it... and take the time to understand it. A while back Marty Kremer had a good one on his website. Would be worth checking out. In combination with a visual of his work, it's enough to make a determination of what he's about and whether I'd want to carry his work. I've given an artist statement assignment in my classes. It's a two-part project. The first part gives the student an opportunity to really analyze their work and solidify their thoughts. It's a good thing and sometimes even improves their actual work. In the second part of the assignment, they have to edit the statement to under 100 words while still retaining the "nut" of the essay. It's good practice for anyone. Fifty words is an even better challenge.

[Cynthia]

My generation watched Neil Armstrong land on the moon, and children dreamt of becoming astronauts; or maybe cowboys, ballerinas, Joe Namath. I dreamt of becoming an artist ever since I held my first crayon.

(That you became and ARE and artist is implicit...so I don't think you have to actually state it...)

Children don’t suppress their basic desires – they burst into rooms, skip down sidewalks, hop on one foot, sing loudly and dance without music. I want some of that; I want everyone to have some of that.

Without even realizing it, we grew to become safe and proper, correct and careful. Even cynical. In contrast, my work is about letting go of those constraints – even if for a short time each day. My work is an expression of dancing through life, allowing yourself to sing and to be filled with delight. My vibrant colors are a metaphor for living life with passion, fire and energy. It's (the work...or ) They're ( your palette) a reminder to let go. It's about celebrating life, coming alive and bursting into rooms to dance without music.

My palette for this message has aways contained vibrant, energetic and saturated color. Mixing colors, inventing new ones, and using as many of them together as possible is what lightens my soul. My work is a color explosion; Bright and filled with passion that exhibits that light desire to burst into rooms, skip down sidewalks, hop on one foot, sing loudly and dance without music.

....

I probably over snipped and clipped...this edit comes from someone who has a hard time keeping the written word short...and yet, my advise would be to distill this statement as much as possible. Omit the repeated sentiments and words. Find a synonym or reconsider if you need to say it again. You have restated your intent, content, goals... with your work in respect to medium, palette, process and as it relates to who you are. I am not certain that you need to do that, so the last three paragraphs seem a bit redundant...but I don't necessarily think they need to be removed, but rather pared down and combined...

These are just suggestions for retooling this statement. It's a good statement that definitely says to me what you and your work are all about. Take or leave any suggestions/changes I made. My husband, the guy with a masters in English, helps me edit and I rarely take his offerings and use them because I feel he removes or retools what I feel expresses me... Go figure.

Your work is exceptional. The statement is the icing on the cake. I think you can keep it simple and not fret too much over it.

[Melissa Terman]

I admire you for being so gutsy as to put yourself on the line and ask for help, thus criticism. I doubt I could do it. So kudos to you.

In my former life, I was a professional copywriter and then an executive at an advertising agency. I just want to relate to you what goes through my head when reading copy similar to yours. Now, since you asked....

I agree with Dani. Keep it short, sweet and to the point. First off, the length is a real turn off. If you haven't gotten to the main point in the first paragraph, even the first sentence, then you've lost your audience. Here are the points I lifted from your statement that I think should be your area of concentration (and not necessarily in this order):

"My work is about letting go...It’s an expression of dancing through life, allowing yourself to sing inside, to be delighted and laugh. My vibrant colors are a metaphor to live life with passion and fire and energy, a reminder to just lighten up sometimes. The work is about celebrating life, it’s about coming alive..."

"My medium for this message hasn’t always been glass, but has definitely always been color. Screaming, bright vibrant, energetic saturated color. Mixing colors, inventing new ones, and using as many of them together as possible, that’s what I love. My glass is like a “happy potionâ€

[Jackie Beckman]

Wow! You all have been such a huge help. And those who emailed too - so, so nice of you all to take the time to help. It's quite a task. I like every single one of the re-writes better than the original. I knew the one I posted was way too long, but I think it was because I was combining my old statement with fresh ideas. It just rambled out of control and I couldn't figure out what to leave out and what was important.

As far as excluding a certain type of buyer Don, I think you're right. It lacks something for the intellectual, angst-hungry crowd, but, short of making up stuff that isn't me at all, I'll have to do without them for now. Perhaps one day I'll be miserable and smart and can win them back.

I've printed out the entire thread and can better see what is been edited out by the majority. It should be doable from here. Thank you all again so much for the insight, wisdom, opinions and advise.

We really are a great group, aren't we-

[jolly]

Since you asked.......
Just my opinion but I do a fair amount of editing and there are a few do's and don't's.... When speaking, placing 'and' between words works sometimes to create rhythm but in written form just adds space and dilutes the impact of the statement. When speaking of yourself, only speak for yourself, don't assume others had the same experiences or have made the same observations. Such as, "Without even realizing it, we become safe and proper and correct and careful, and even cynical." Notice all the 'and's? You are probably writing like you speak (we all use more ands, buts and awww's in our speech) but reread it with comma's instead. It usually makes a more powerful impact. Also, in that statement, you are telling the reader that they have had the same experiences as you, in other words, telling them how to think and feel. It is a bit subtle but important. Try it like this: Without even realizing it, I sometimes find myself becoming safe, proper, correct, careful, and even cynical. I refer to this as 'speaking from the I'.
One of the most impotant aspects is to edit, edit ,edit and then edit some more. Be as concise as possible. It is surprising how much can be said in so few words.
I really like to edit at this stage because you have done a wonderful job of listing the things you would like to say and why. So I would suggest, (only my suggestion and I think it is best to rewrite it again after the first edit, edit again, etc.):
Our childhood dreams are not always realized but in my case, I have wanted to be an artist from the moment I held my first crayon. I have observed that children burst into rooms, skip down sidewalks, sing loudly and dance to an inner rhythm and in my work, I am trying capture that youthful abandon and to season the world with it. Screaming, bright, vibrant, energetic, saturated color coupled with the magic of glass is how I have learned to translate my joy and wonder. My goal in life and art is to share my constant delight and amazement.
I don't like the last bit exactly but you need to play with it. Hopefully, this will help a bit. - Jolly

[Dani]

So, in a nutshell, can we say an artist statement should be short and sweet? ..... or short and bittersweet?