Self doubt

[Kathie Karancz]

So.. Again I start my path along the road of trying to be an artist.
I just finished with my mid-life crisis and finally am in a spot where I can unpack my studio.
I have been working with glass for over 30 years and have always thought my work as being so so. I know my technique is good but I am never happy with the results. I look at other people's work and see beautiful works of art and want to be "as good as" but for some reason, I can't ever seem to give myself kuddos and not feel insecure when I present my work.
I'm contually taking lessons, buying new supplies but keep just hovering.
Other questions that keep popping into this insecure mind is.. Why bother, what do I do with it, who would want it. Am I just lazy? I love glass and working with it so it's not because I don't like it.
So now I ask all you artists out there: how do you get to a place where you create and not overthink it? How do you accept compliments on your work and not go.. "Thank you but it I could have done a better job", or be in a place where you proudly put your work out there and not be uncomfortable and insecure?

[Bert Weiss]

Kathie

The best thing I can say is keep working. The quest is to see yourself in your work. Eventually you will see yourself emerge from the work. As this happens focus on that and make it grow. Considering your love of the medium and the process, this should flow easily.

[Suzette A]

Ive been busy working on Christmas gifts but this thread keeps coming up in my mind Kathie. I relate so well!

Im 47 and have a life time of doubt tucked into my work. But I had a kind of epiphany recently.

That is...well let me give you the long version.

You see, I was one of those kids labeled "so talented", " so bright" blah blah. But I only got this praise when I did something someone else liked. So, like many kids I started chasing the praise.

As an adult that did not work out so well. Everything I did was still about chasing praise. Only, I couldnt please others because I could not do what they admired well enough. And if I did, I hated doing it, and hated the results because it was just hard EFFORT without anything fullfilling. Pointless!

As soon as I stopped making others opimion more important than my own joy, everything changed!

I love what I am doing and I love doing it! THIS is why I wanted to create in the first place....JOY!!

So put your doubts aside. You be you and never anything less. Ever. Doubt is you looking for praise. But the whole point in wanting praise is to feel joy. But praise is fleeting and hollow. Especially compared to the joy of just being yourself, creating for the joy you feel doing it!

Ive also noticed that all this joy means the quality of my work has improved. Doing my work is now easy and in that ease I have become more masterful in my endeavors.

Oh I hope something in all those words helps a little.

[Suzette A]

oh ps...you will always think "i could have done a better job". If you didnt you would lose the desire to keep creating! You as an artist will never be " finished" and know yourself to be a master. Ever. If you did, you would lose your freshness and just become an insufferable, arrogant, bore.

[JestersBaubles]

With any kind of praise, I have always found it difficult to smile, take a deep breath, and say, "Thank you".

Of course, to my husband I still point out all the flaws . (he gets really frustrated with me)

Dana W.

[Haydo]

Had a workmate, over weight and past his prime but like us all had a history. Ex steel worker who could scamper all over a structure. Our supervisor at the time on Nauru would just ride him, so I asked him why he put up with that shit. "Endurance, gotta have endurance, don't get anywhere without it.",was the reply and it stuck to me like glue.
To be different from the pack in kiln forming one must challenge themselves. If it's a long bumpy ride, all the better to take it in, every bruise. Very easy to feed self doubt, but if it isn't fed I truly think it's a hardener with a lot of reality checks thrown in.
Working from Australia compounds the difficulty with the costs of equipment,stock and consumables. Even though I haven't achieved my goal,I continue only because I believe I will be a glass worker producing a solid commercial product to support my own interests in the studio. On the flip side, we have self doubt with success. My eldest son reckons not to worry because it's a good problem to have. He has mentioned that automation can play a part at some stage once I've worked out the science and it makes sense to do so. Still early days, but thinking a lot differently. I think I'm ready for pay days soon.
Merry Christmas and a safe festive season to all. peace, haydo

[Morganica]

I've met a lot of artists, and I could count on the fingers of one hand those that actually can take a compliment about their work. By that I mean without apologizing or questioning the observer's sanity, pointing out a missed flaw, looking uncomfortable or astonished or dubious or amused, carefully explaining that the observer has only seen the bad stuff, or crummy lighting or the photographer really made it look better than it is, that the artist really never had the right training or still needs to work on {fill in the blank} or, etc., etc., etc...

Other professionals seem to have no trouble accepting praise for achievements; not sure why it's such an issue for artists. But self-doubt seems to come with the territory.

Of course, the last time a collector offered to buy one of my pieces the first words out of my mouth were, "You're kidding..." so I'm not much better...

[Kevin Midgley]

You have to remember if you are truly making art, nobody else can make what you've made including all the so called flaws blips bumps and permutations that happen while working with glass. There will always be people who appreciate what you have made and sales will happen, just perhaps not as fast as you would like them to take place.
There will always be people who don't get whatever it is you call your art works and tell you to get a real job instead of calling yourself an artist.
Endurance as Haydo's workmate said is key.
Keep on trying for 'those who love glass' will eventually find you and understand what you are trying to do and appreciate it.
They might even want to take it home with them.
Just get their money first.

[Suzette A]

I made a bunch of small gifts for co-workers this Christmas.
As each person opened their gifts I received many compliments. It was tough to take. I had been looking at everything for so long all I could see were flaws. And I said so. But one of my co-workers said "dont tell me that. Its perfect. I love it the way it is. Everything looks intentional. If you point out the flaws it wont be perfect any more"

Ah...so right! I dont make flaws. I make unintentional perfection.

[JestersBaubles]

Wabi-sabi.

I'd never heard that term until I read Jody Danner Walker's printmaking book, but I try to remind myself to embrace it .

Dana W.

[helenM]

Coming to this post a bit late lol, but Katie I am exactly the same. I think it's natural to have some elements of self doubt and critisicm when you take pride in what you do. I think it's about learning to manage that so it doesn't intrude so much that it stops you from doing anything at all. I would not call myself an artist and have no formal artistic training, so quite often when I am creating something I also think 'why bother, it won't be that good' or 'who would want to see this' or 'who would want to buy this' or 'it's not good enough' or 'my ideas are rubbish' because I see the beautiful creations other people make (in various craft fields) and wish I could do the same.

What I do is remember that I am exploring and creating with glass because I love glass - that is all that matters. And I try and remember to view it as a journey - all you can do is take a step and see where it leads you, don't anticipate or expect more, just enjoy the ride. I think you have to acknowledge that the thoughts will be there, but don't listen to them! Creating first and foremost should be about you and your expression. Your expression is just as valid as the next person. What's most important is that you discover your own creativity and way of doing things that gives you joy - if you can do that and find satisfaction in your process then those thoughts do melt away (even if it's temporarily!). Create for you!

When you hear those thoughts bubbling up and making you feel like not bothering make a conscious effort to do the exact opposite - get up and go play with glass and just see where it takes you. Approach it with an open mind and think of it as exploration. At least that's what I find is working for me:)

[Studiodunn]

http://hyperallergic.com/286887/the-art ... ers-claim/

[Don Burt]

http://hyperallergic.com/286887/the-art ... ers-claim/

Absolutely

There's also some good perspective offered if you google 'imposter syndrome' and 'dunning-krueger'.

I

[DonMcClennen]

The original post here is more than 1 year old. let us hope the original author has found her stride and moved forward with confidence! With time, age, and experience, comes acceptance of your own skills and worth. I'm at the point now that if someone doesn't like my work then I figure there is something wrong with them

[russwills]

Hi, Kathie. I just finished my Master of Fine Art in photography, and along the way I had many of the same thoughts that you posted. The easy answer to your questions is, "Just do your best and enjoy it and don't be insecure." But many of us really are insecure. In your post, you said, "I love glass and working with it so it's not because I don't like it." That alone is reason to continue. I have not yet seen your work, so I cannot tell you that you are (or are not) an awesome artist. But the fact that you love working with glass is very important. You also said you are, "trying to be an artist." Without having seen your work, and based only on what you wrote, it seems to me that you are an artist. When I started my MFA, I was very intimidated by all the amazing artists surrounding me. I was unsure whether or not I was really an "artist". At some point, though, I accepted my fate. It was probably roughly around the time something clicked for me and I started understanding art at a deeper level than when I began the program. Regardless of when, at some point I embraced "artist" as part of who I am. This is both blessing and curse, but the blessing far outweighs the curse. I hope you will have a similar experience! Keep going, and keep doing what makes you who you are.

[Kevin Midgley]

A visitor to my studio just yesterday, when I expressed my desire to keep 'playing with glass as long as I was having fun' came back with a really good definition of fun she'd heard somewhere.
If you aren't as happy as a five year old feeding ducks, don't bother doing it.
At that point you are not worrying about what anyone or any ducks are thinking about what you are doing.